Wednesday, February 21, 2018

ReTestimony 2018


The Internet can be your best friend and worst enemy. It can bring out the best emotions in people, and it can also tear people down to the very depths of utter depression. I remember sitting down in my office and searching around the Internet, not knowing where I was going to land. Then I remember a thought came to my mind to search the Indianapolis Mini Marathon and the 5k race at Lucas Oil Raceway that I was involved in. It is amazing that data from these races that can be searched, and found, without much work. I remember sitting and looking at the screen looking joyfully at the record times I was able to set at both races. When I was running the 5k race I was averaging an 8 minute per mile pace and finished the 3.1-mile race in 27 minutes, and during the Mini Marathon I was averaging a 10 minute per mile pace and I finished the 13.1-mile race in 2 hours and 27 minutes (that 1/10 of a mile was probably the most exhausting part of the race).
These are just two instances that something out of the daily routine got my attention and caused me to rethink life all over again. Both running events were in 2013 and after I researched my old race times I went onto Google Photos and I found pictures from 2013 and not only did I smile but I also had tears from a mix of emotions. During this year I was most likely in the best shape of my life, had the most amazing attitude, and never let anything get me down. I was pretty much walking on cloud nine day in and day out, not caring about anything but moving forward and making the best of every situation. I remember sitting in my chair reflecting on that year and, in some way, wishing and dreaming that I could find that person all over again and reconnect with him.
It’s difficult being in a spot of life where looking back just five years ago can make a person wish they were back with a certain attitude, personality, feature, or personal gift. 2013 was an amazing year for me personally though… I was in an amazing relationship to a person that I can truly say was my BEST FRIEND, was growing in my personal relationship with Christ, and my physical workout routine was only improving and was achieving my weight loss goals. I was in an amazing spot in life and this was also the year that I was finally able to graduate college after a few major changes and different callings that I felt like I needed to pursue. The Lord was putting me in a spot where I felt the best in many different aspects and I felt like nothing could tear me down and looking back I can see where this mindset was the beginning stages of the downward spiral of my life.
Toward the middle of 2013 I was preparing to move to a different area of the state and be closer to my now ex with a job that would give me the best benefits and work atmosphere that I have ever experienced before. I was so pumped up and I felt great about where I was, and I believed in my heart that this job was going to bring out the best in me in every area of life. As I was preparing to move, and getting the final details of my job, I found out that my grandma was going to have open heart surgery. Going from a stomach sickness to having a major surgery was not easy for me to hear but I didn’t show it externally since it’s rare that I cry at anything. As I was going through this situation I learned that my ex was going through a lot and did not want to continue the relationship. This person was the very reason that I was job hunting in this region of the state so that I could be closer to her. Once these two occurrences of life took place it felt as if my world was crashing down and that the gaps were so big that I could not find the feeling that was bringing me up for the past year or so.
Fast forward to February of 2018 and as I type this message on a computer screen I believe that between 2013 and now was the part of time where I was challenged the most and was losing the person that I became in the middle of college. Once I officially graduated college, and at the same time tried to refocus on my career plan since the “original plan” was declined, I was on a downward spiral from the joy and dedication that I had.
I do not want to sit and type this message to you all and dwell in the focus of 2013, that would honestly be a ridiculous motive at this point. I cannot change the past and, as I sit and focus on the grand scheme of life, I would not want to change the past. Scripture gives us a strong, yet hard, message to focus on throughout all our trials in life:

“Forget the former things, do not dwell in the past” (Isaiah 43:18)

During this time frame the Israelites were in the stages of becoming free from captivity. Free from slavery, and a hard path of life. This was used as an encouragement for the Israelites to move forward in life: to not think about what the past gave people, but to look forward and move toward the brightness of the light that gives promise. For my personal life this is a bitter pill to swallow because I have looked at my own life and have believed in my own heart that the things in life have not been the greatest whatsoever, which has caused me to focus only on the past and think that this is the only path of life that I will ever see. As I had mentioned I see the year 2013 as one of the best years of my life in various paths, but I also mentioned that I do not want to dwell into that year since that is now five years in the past.
As I reflect on the past five years of my life many things have occurred: I have been in various relationships, gained and lost friendships, have brought people to think various thoughts about me personally, and have fought myself in many areas of life. Five years ago, I was 25 and getting ready to graduate college and now I’m now in my 30’s and have been out of the school setting as of 5 years ago. In these five years one of the greatest motivations of my life are being physically active. In the past working out in any fashion was not my biggest motivation, in fact, working out was something I never saw myself doing. Within a two-year period in the early 2010’s I lost over 100 pounds and gained a new view on life and what I could accomplish. Sitting here now I reflect on this journey and I am joyful of the endurance race I was able to accomplish with this weight loss, but I also did not do it in the right frame of mind. A good friend of mine from Indiana State, Andrew Miller, wrote an article about “Working out the Faith” and he brought up a mindset that people can use to be active:

“In our generation, the media painfully whips our youth’s minds into how they should look.  Males must be chiseled from head to toe with muscles bulging as if we were the Hulk, and females must be built like Barbie, which by the way is both unlikely”

When I had first lost my weight, I had an amazing trainer from my campus ministry that taught me dedication, determination, and most of all: looking at training as an endurance race and not a sprint. I had tried working out or being active in various parts of my life and nothing seemed to work because I had the mindset that if the results did not happen immediately I was against putting the work in. Basically, if I was not seeing the results with a 24-hour period I was telling myself I could not do it and gave up (looking back trying to lose weight the healthy way in a 24-hour period was next to impossible). Once the results from my initial weight loss began its evidence I feel that my mindset started to change. Doing just a few bicep curls was not enough, squatting the weight that my trainer was doing was something I did not want to weight for but to conquer right away. Basically, if I was not seeing results immediately I was going to give in to my own selfish emotions and make a rash decision that what I was doing was not for me and going to get me nowhere.
Writing this message about my own experience I feel like we currently live in a generation where information is needed immediately, Internet connections are at blazing speeds (even compared to only a decade ago), and the vast amount of information that we have at our disposal has given us the mindset to look at many different opinions on information, at times not regarding the source that it is coming from. This brings up a verse that came to my mind when reflecting on this thought:

“But the Sprit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons.” (1 Timothy 4:1)

This verse is hard to take in but in my own life I have found myself after the year of 2013 I was reflecting on and began to neglect my own mindset and lessons that I have learned to get to that point and began to focus on what I thought I could do to fill in the gaps. After the events I mentioned with my grandma and ex happened in the middle of 2013 my life, and views, began to take a different approach. When people talked to me and asked how life was going I usually came up with the general answer of “oh, things are fine”, “I feel amazing, things couldn’t be better”, “life has been good, but what’s new with you, how have you been?” My words usually sputtered out one of these phrases and gave me an easy pass to continue about my day without letting people know exactly how life was going. I look at these various phrases I would say to people and the third phrase of turning the questions back on the other person happened more often than once. I usually turned the question back because it gave me a thought that if I did this maybe I could help someone else out and not think about what is really happening in my own life.
From that point in time to 2013 to the present I wasn’t completely true with my life with the other people around me. I was falling in a downward spiral and not focused on the end of the tunnel but hanging out in the midst. I can honestly say that in that period, and even at moments to this day, I was not the person to ask for help or allow people to know the true me. I did not want people to know the “TRUE” me because I felt like I had a reputation of being strong for others and helping others in their walk, and I have been neglecting myself and as scripture teaches I have been building my house on the sand (thinking it was an amazing rock) and allowing my foundation to crumble. There have been some amazing things that have happened in life and was also in various relationships even after that situation that occurred right when my grandma was in the hospital. I tried to find love and, as a matter of fact, I was even engaged once. I lost focus on who I was and did not have a full amount of faith, just the faith that I wanted to present to people. I did not have the faith that, as scripture stated: could move mountains (Matthew 17:20). Tim Tebow talked about a perfect definition for faith in his book “Shaken” when he says:

“Faith is not being shaken at the core but moving through the struggles one step at a time”
                Family and friends, I have learned from living life, and typing this first writing to you, that I was defining faith as praising God when the moments were made of gold, when the moments arrived that I could stand on a mountaintop and shout to the world that God is true, real, and the Lord of ALL LORDS! What I did not want to believe through faith and actions, but should have in life’s obstacles, is that the Lord is LORD in ALL situations, regardless of the outcome. As a matter of fact, today’s scripture for February 21st, 2018 hammers on a point that goes along with this thought:

                “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you WHEREVER you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

                As I finish up my writing that I believe the Lord has laid on my heart I want to open on where I am at currently. I’m battling with different situations in my life, struggles that have challenged me to the core. Some of these things have caused me to neglect myself, struggle, loose faith, loose heart, feel like nothing will ever go my way, and loose focus on listening to the words of God on where I am supposed to travel in life. Over the past year or so I have tried to form my own life because I felt like God was not listening and I wanted to think in my own mind where I was supposed to go which caused me each time to find confusion in front of me. I have been hurt in so many ways over the past couple of years, let me clarify this: my family and I have been hurt in so many ways. I personally have been hurt physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. I have been lied to, manipulated, and these moments have caused me to question why I matter and what have I done to deserve this treatment. I am finishing this writing and I still look back at 2013 through pictures, old letters, memories, and most importantly: where my faith was. This has taken me over two weeks to write, reflect on, battle the enemy with, and see what direction God would want me to go with this.
                This is not only a personal look and testimony of my life, but I believe God has led me to write this to help someone else that reads this (whether that is tomorrow or two years into the future). I do not have the best job, living situation, or situation of my life (as a matter of fact I am in debt to my eyeballs through something out of my control). I was not comfortable with myself or who I was anymore. Whoever reads this and is struggling with their personal situations know that I am right there with you. I may have never talked about it in the past, but I am letting this writing speak for me. I am currently getting back in shape, overcoming my injuries (far better off from where I was but still have pain), and have a job that is re-teaching me leadership skills and teamwork. I thank God what He has done through my life over the past couple of months and I know as Joshua showed in the scripture of the day that I can be STRONG and COURAGEOUS through all of life’s obstacles. The best part about this is that I do not have to fear because the Lord is right by my side and is on all our sides.
                Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for supporting me and finding ways to encourage me in your own ways. I pray that this message finds you well and I also pray that this is the true beginning of me moving forward and forgetting the past but growing for the present and future.

THE END, for now…
               








Thursday, July 31, 2014

For Those That Want a Quick Read...

Alright everyone, so I thought I would take this time and update my current mood at this point in time for those that want to know...

I am at the point where I am wrestling with a lot of things. I mentioned earlier that I was taking a break from being on a lot of social media because of various things in life that have challenged me as a person. I will not go into detail publicly about what is happening but I will let you know that it has challenged my innermost being as a person, even to the point that my faith was rocked to its very core. I look at people, life, circumstances, past relationships, lost friendships, betrayals, etc. and various emotions go through my mind including: why me? why do I feel like I get the short end of the stick? how is it that others can get completely happy and I cannot be totally happy?

I appreciate those people that have gotten a chance to talk with me personally and mention that it looks like I am always happy, that they wish they could be as happy as me, and that it looks like I have it all together. I appreciate those comments, but I am only human. I go through my various emotions, I think about what if, I wander why certain things happen the way they do, I have my days where I feel like the whole entire world is against me. When I get on Facebook anymore I tend to see people I have been with for instance and see them happy with other people. I found myself thinking that "oh yeah, I have moved on, when in reality even the sight of seeing this person that used to be associated with me so happy with someone that seems to have it more together than I. Or, when life tends to deal me a bad hand of cards and I am challenged to the core of my existence. Some days I wander why does it feel like I am the one laughed at, why am I the one who gets the short end of the stick, and why I feel like I am the one that gets the negative attention.

This is a whirl-wind of chaos that truly seems unending, brings me to the core of impatience, and gives moments of negative mindsets that challenge me as a person. As I take a break from Facebook (except for talking with friends on Messenger and checking up on friends from time to time), go off the wire on Twitter for awhile, not posting on Instagram, etc. I hope to look at these circumstances and answer these questions in the best way possible. Before you begin to ask I am not becoming a non-believer and loosing my faith in Christ because I look at the story of Job and this is the best example of loosing everything and my life is not that bad compared to this story but I do need to see what is next in this chaos. Thank you everyone for listening for those that chose to read and listen.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Valentine's Day Visit with My Girlfriend and Her Daughter!!!




Miss Ely enjoying my old favorite stuffed animal!!
So this past Sunday I had the chance to spend some quality time with Miss Ely!!!!! It was amazing to see this beautiful face and have some good times of play, talking, and gift sharing. Gift sharing you might ask? This particular Sunday was the closest to Valentine's Day. I spent the morning at church in Washington and then went back with Ely and her grandparents to play with her toys and give out my Valentine's gift to her.

Her gift, as seen in this picture, was a stuffed dog named Wrinkles that I played with when I was Ely's current age. I gave her a story about this little boy and how he thought he had everything, but there was one thing he was missing. The one thing he was missing was a friend, and did not know where to find one. So for Christmas this little boy wanted a friend and his family had a great idea. They got him his very own friend, and stuffed dog that he took everywhere with him. This dog quickly became his friend and he wanted to show him off everywhere he went. Well, this boy became older and did not play with Wrinkles as much as he used to. I told Ely that this little boy was me and that Wrinkles needed a new owner that would take care of him like I did. Ely quickly smiled and agreed to watch over my friend and I played with Wrinkles one more time with Ely. 

I then got to see my amazing girlfriend after work in Jasper. Even thought it was for a short time it was great to see her wonderful self :-) ;-) I realized that she has a lot going on and we have not been able to talk as much. It has been emotional for me because Mandy is the love of my life and I love being able to hear from her as much as I can. I told my very amazing girlfriend that she resembles a gem to me and this treasure is something I will hold onto the rest of my days to come. I also gave Mandy her Valentine's gift, which was a customized M&M set with our first picture and messages that mean a lot to us.

I am very happy and amazed to have the most amazing girls ever. First, the most amazing, beautiful, and sweet little girl that could ever enter my life and to call her my own. Most of all, I now have the most amazing, beautiful, wonderful, and gorgeous girlfriend that I could ever ask for. Each day I wake up I realize how happy, amazed, and joyful I am to have the most amazing relationship in front of me. My message this month for my family is commitment... let us continue to stay committed to one another as we already have been since day one! I love my amazing family, my girls, my life!





Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving in Florida!!

Never would have I imagined that I would be traveling during the Thanksgiving season. A couple of days ago I found myself packing a car, and after church spending the next few hours on the road! I remember my mom and grandma constantly asking me if I needed a break, or even to rest. I remember myself laughing at those remarks and calling myself a machine on the road.

From Sunday morning to Monday night I was on roads that ranged from beautiful country scenic drives to construction zones on interstates!!!!!! One of the first major stops my family and I had was at Talladega, Alabama. Little did I know that the hotel we were staying at for the night was within five minutes of Talladega Superspeedway. It was neat to take a track tour and observe the size of the facility. I remember standing in victory lane and thinking of all the drivers that have stood here, ranging from retired drivers to rookies!!

I currently have traveled over 1,000 miles to my destination at Fort Myers, Florida. This Thanksgiving meal will be one of the biggest I have had in recent times, and it is good to be with family I have not seen for a long period of time. May you all be blessed and encouraged through Christ alone, and may we all be thankful for everything we have!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Striving to Stay on the Straight and Narrow...

As I was coming back to church to camp I was caught with a thought that really made me surprised in a way. I was talking about it for parts of the summer and then I realized that this moment was finally here: this is the last week of Camp Oytokwah Summer Camp 2012. WOW!!!! I could not begin to word what was going through my head but my main reaction was silence (with my eyes wide open). I am currently on my 11th week of summer camp programming at camp and it truly has been a long and persevering summer. Vineyard Church, which is out of Columbus, OH, is the last guest group of the summer that the summer staff will work with. Once this week is complete the staff will begin leaving camp for their own lives for the rest of the year. Where the staff will be in the long term no one goes, but as of now most of everyone will be going back and getting ready for school. Where will I be though... well after camp is over I will be preparing for my trip toward Kentucky to be with the Journey Fellowship of Students for our final retreat. Once that is complete I will be coming back home to prepare for my last semester of school (which has truly felt like a long time coming). I am sitting in the back counter of the gift shop, since this is where the best coverage of wireless is at, pondering at what truly is ahead and looking back at a hard-working and demanding summer both physically and spiritually.

There are some things that took place at camp that I never thought would have been possible. I came to camp this summer not knowing anything about archery, high rope setup, etc. and for the most part this summer I have been working at the rock wall and high ropes systems as well as teaching kids how to shoot a bow and arrow onto a target. The activities that took place this summer were in areas I had no previous experience in, but at the same time I do believe this is what Christ wanted me to see and experience these last few months. A famous phrase in the Gospels is ANYTHING IMPOSSIBLE WITH MAN IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD. What a phrase that Jesus uses Himself to talk to His disciples, by saying that to get live righteous in God's eyes that this is impossible, but through Jesus Christ Himself all things can and will be possible. I look on the summer that had taken place, along with the new week ahead, and look at Christ Himself in all of the picture. There are times where I was angry, lost, stumbling, tempted, etc. and it helps me realize that I just need Christ more.

So, looking ahead, I see the last week of camp and the sunset even brighter than before. This feeling is bittersweet... knowing that the end is near for the summer of 2012 (as well as the end of my last summer break period). God has been able to do far more remarkable things than I could begin to talk about, teach on, or minister to people on. God is bigger than all of these things and is bigger than our own imaginations. Christ made our minds, as small as they truly are in the grand scheme of things, and made them to think, intellect with others, prosper, etc. To fathom the mind of Christ would be to go to a beach and start counting the number of grains of sand that are laying around. This would:


  1. Be pointless, because there is always new grains of sand that arrive out of the waves in the ocean.
  2. Be long, this would not take a day or even a year, this would take more like a lifetime
  3. Be stressful, come on... we as people have trouble in everyday life with mere tasks, how much bigger would this be.
I leave you all with this... continue to view Christ not as a distant God that truly does not care but as someone that truly is right next to us and truly wants the best of us, just like a real and true father. Be blessed everyone, and may we all continue to find more of Christ.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

The Sunset Is Becoming More Evident...

Who would have ever thought that a smaller Christian camp located in the northern section of Ohio would show me the biggest challenges of life. I personally did not look at this camp in that manner before I arrived through the camp pillars. I remember how I talked to family, friends, and other staff members that I had this plan on what I would write about because of my approach to the summer. I felt that this camp was going to grow me in my experiences in working with youth and also being a part of a team setting for a good amount of time. The interviews went well prior the summer, the business cards were polished up, and the resume looked as if nothing could be any better. I drove from Indianapolis to an area between Columbus and Cleveland, Ohio and had my world turned upside down (but for the better).

There are only two camp groups left before I return home from my summer of ministry. Last week we had our first of two CYSC groups (which are the two Catholic groups that rent out the camp property). This group is definitely loud, crazy, full of life, and ready to take on new challenges. This past week I had some of the biggest challenges that I faced this summer. I can already see, just from this past weeks experience, that what the Catholic group believes is different from the Christian environment that I have been involved with. Through the week I had some of the most interesting discussions with people about what they believed, their prayer life, etc. and at the same time was challenged with some things that were brought up through the week. My week actually got to a point where I became very negative in my own personal mind and that the Bible meant nothing to me because I could not follow it (my own words). I had one of the biggest downfalls at the midpoint of the week because of some things taking place in the group and at the same time I found some of the staff that I work with (the other guys) came up to me and offered prayer, support, and even a foot washing as a sign of love and direction to Christ. This group also has the most programming that I have done in any given point of the summer. The programming for 200 plus campers averages to about six hours a day which equals to 30 hours by the end of the week. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a lot of ropes, archery, and team-building (WOOOOOOOOOOOOO)!!!!! Even with the busy schedule I found that this week challenged me in my programming areas as well as my patience and respect to the people around me.

This week, looking back, needed to happen for the growth and maturity that Christ is trying to use. There was a scripture that came to my mind that relates to this mindset that was used in 1 Peter...

 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. (1 Peter 2:2-3)


Being in the Christian life is very much like growing up in a physical life. In the day to day physical life you start out as a newborn baby and work your way through adolescence (so much fun)!!! teenager, young adulthood, adulthood, and the final stage of old age and eventually death. The spiritual life is very similar to this setup in terms of the stages of walking with Christ. When we find Christ scripture says we "become a new creation" (2 Corinthians 5:17) it is like the spiritual birth that people find when they accept Christ for the first time. As we grow up in our faith by watching others and filling our minds with every great thing that comes from Christ (Philippians 4:8-9) we become like a child and falling in love with the life Christ provides. As we grow up we realize that Jesus is the true source and we are part of Him (John 15:1) and that is when we grow up and find what is true and false in this life. Jesus had a way of using this life so that we may find Him, love after Him, and desire more of His mercy. There is no longer a need to go through other sources to get to Christ, for we have DIRECT ACCESS to our Father that says that we are no longer considered workers but part of His perfect family (Galatians 4:7).

As the summer winds down and the end is near for my last summer ever of camp ministry I look back at the other years that I have been involved with camping and what God has done through every season. As I look back to when I was 15 and first becoming a counselor by becoming a Counselor in Training (CIT) I did not appreciate this life as I do at 24 and nearly at ten summers in summer camp ministry. Going from a volunteer CIT to a Program Manager has not been an easy route but it has been something that I look back on and thank Christ for all that He has taught me, even in the times when I was not serious about Him. In the end I realize that I just want and desire more of Christ and His grace and truth, to be intertwined in His presence. Be blessed everyone, and for this week be praying for God's spirit to impact every crevice of my life and for my life to be parallel to His life.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Pondering Toward the End of the Summer...

There is a lot going through my head as I sit and type this blog out after a couple of intense of guest group weeks. Over the last couple of weeks there have been a couple of Presbyterian groups (from New York, Ohio, and Michigan) that have been a joy to work with. I am also sitting here and cannot even begin to fathom that there is only three weeks left of camp. THREE WEEKS OF CAMP LEFT!!!!!!!! Where has the time gone, seriously???? Anyways (as I tone down myself) I had the opportunity to have a good relaxing weekend and at the same time a chance to learn, struggle, and grow in my relationship with Christ. These camps, along with the guest groups, have shown me how much I truly need to rely on Christ. I am also sitting here and listening to the new David Crowder Band album and there was a song for over one minute that kept saying "Amen" over and over. The song started out in a quiet tone and then intensified as it progressed. I kept finding myself playing that song over and over as I found myself closing my eyes and feeling the strength and presence that Christ really brings out. The biggest lesson I have learned this summer...

I AM NOTHING WITH CHRIST!!!! NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED CHRIST, I NEED HIS PRESENCE, I NEED HIS HEALING POWER, I NEED HIS MERCY, I NEED HIS ESSENCE, LORD, I NEED YOU COMPLETELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This has been one of the hardest lessons to learn, and to this day it is still hard to grasp. This summer has not only been the biggest learning experience that I have had in recent years but it is also been the one that has provided the best growth professionally, physically, emotionally, and intellectually. I am working in program areas that before the summer started I had no prior experience in. I am a regular at the rock wall where I either belay people up the rock wall, repel them down the wall, or run the zip ladder from time to time. I can also be found teaching kids how to do archery, hold a bow and arrow effectively, and shoot at a precise level. Sure, I have only been learning these activities for part of the summer but doing them over and over has caused me to find a passion in them and find a way to impact lives through the activities. I even found myself telling my grandma the other day that I may have found a new hobby with archery and may even find some facilities to shoot around from time to time.

I cannot stress it enough in this post, OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME AND WONDERFUL GOD!! There was a couple of verses that I read yesterday that really impacted my face and faith at the same time. Both are found in 1 John. 1 John 4:4 says...

You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.


1 John 5:5 says...

Who is He that overcomes the world: He who believes that Jesus is the SON OF GOD! 




Through the summer I have been keeping verses on a sticky note on my desktop of things I need to remember, live by, and also: LIVE OUT! That is one of the biggest lessons that I have learned this summer. We as people of God need to live out our faith, not just look at it and think it is a beautiful thing and then go along with that. God is HUGE and WANTS 100% of WHO WE ARE! This is truly the hardest thing to grasp and I continue to pray that He will show how this looks and how this is used in today's life. Be blessed everyone through Christ alone!